Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
