'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
