He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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