Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
