At least make sure they are 18
Why
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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