We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
