Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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