and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
