Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
