I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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