Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize