So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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