she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
