we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
