Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
