are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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