he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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