i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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