You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
