I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
