party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
