We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
