That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
