dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize