The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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