Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
