That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I want to have your abortion
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
