even my farts smell like vagina
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Randomize
