I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
