that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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