And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
