making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize