If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
