I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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