out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
