just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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