The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
