You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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