I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
