Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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