Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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