You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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