Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We talked him into tasing himself.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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