Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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