Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
