If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
