as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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