As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
