How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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