She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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