Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
