...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
