she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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