shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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