# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize