What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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