Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
