well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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