I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
