Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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