There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
