yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
