Life is so much better after having sex.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
