..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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