Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
