If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
