found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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