Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
