Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
