dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He felt like a one man threesome
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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