Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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