Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
