Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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