I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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