try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
thus making me awesome and them whores
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This baby is an asshole
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
