hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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