why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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