So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
