what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
